The Longest Commercial Break Ever
by creatura726
Summary: You know all those commercials that are either kinda the same or kinda iconic? Here's some more of those! (actually doesn't really sound exciting), but oh, well! This is basically those but with your favorite cartoon/TV/whatever characters! These commercials are not official endorsements of products. I was not paid to sell them. All trademarks property of their respective owners.
1. Daniel Bryan, Discover

_Discover belongs to Discover Financial._

 _Daniel Bryan is seen on a phone behind a computer._

BRYAN 1: Discover Card, how can I help you?

 _Another Daniel Bryan is seen at home on his cell phone._

BRYAN 2: Hi, is it true that my FICO Credit Score is available online for free-

BRYAN 1: Yes.

 _Daniel Bryan 2 makes a face, suspicious, as though he were happy._

BRYAN 2: ...And if I check it, it won't damage my current score?

BRYAN 1: Yes.

 _Daniel Bryan 2 cannot believe it._

BRYAN 2: No way...no.

BRYAN 1: Yes.

BRYAN 2: No.

BRYAN 1: No what?

BRYAN 2: No, I'm not a customer.

BRYAN 1: Your Credit Score is with FICO, right?

 _Bryan 2 is seen on on his laptop where he sees his credit score. He begins to burst into joy._

BRYAN 2: YES! YES! YES! (He shouts as he stands from his seat, pointing upward with one hand and hoisting his phone with the other)

 _Cut to Bryan 1, who can hear the shouting from his phone._

BRYAN 1: That kinda sounds familiar...

VO (As Daniel Bryan's theme music plays): Get your free credit scorecard at , even if you're not a customer!


	2. The Loud House, Honda

_The CR-V belongs to Honda. The Loud House belongs to Nickelodeon._

HONDA

 _The Louds are seen walking into a Honda dealer. Lincoln seems a bit down after the destruction of vanzilla._

LINCOLN: (sigh) Rest in peace Vanzilla. Like putting Ol' Yeller out of his misery.

 _Meanwhile, Lynn is seen running off-screen._

LUNA: (consoling Lincoln) Relax, brah. We'll find a new ride soon. Heard these Helpful Honda guys are sweet!

LYNN: (from afar) Talk about sweet, huh? Check out this NSX!

LORI: Um, no time for sports cars, Lynn. We gotta keep looking for a new van, remember?

BOBBY: (off-camera) I'm pretty sure I've seen those faces before.

 _Lori's eyes widen._

LORI: Bobby Boo-Boo Bear?!

LYNN: (a bit bitter) Oh right. I could've guessed he works here too!

BOBBY: Heard your old van broke down for good-

 _Lori runs over to him, hugs him tightly, and kisses him in the cheek._

BOBBY: (cringing a little bit) Lori, I'm at work right now.

LORI: (with a grin) I know, and you'll be at work later, too.

 _All the other kids groan._

LOLA: Look, we just want a new van!

BOBBY: Hmm, I don't know if any here can fit all of you.

 _Lola nears him staring him down furiously._

BOBBY: (panicking, then calm when he mentions the car) Gaahh, b-but I can offer you the new Honda CR-V (points to it, camera pans to it), voted 2017 Best Car for the Money by U.S. News.

LISA: (behind car, with clipboard) ( _the trunk opens seemingly by itself_ ) Oh. I was going to inquire regarding remotely-operated access into the posterior of the vehicle.

BOBBY: (walking toward Lisa, looks down at car keys, then gives confused look to Lisa, and shrugs) Whatever that means.

LUCY: (popping out from inside the car) Can confirm. (This startles Bobby and Lisa)

LENI: (looking inside, face nearly propped up against window) Oooh, the inside looks totes beautiful!

LYNN: (approaching Bobby) What's this thing's top speed?

BOBBY: Hmm...does 0 to 60 in 7.6 seconds sound fast to you?

LYNN: For an SUV maybe.

BOBBY: Well, it does have a turbo-charged engine!

LYNN: Hmph. Fair enough.

 _Lincoln is walking by the side of the car, less somber than before, and stops upon seeing Lana pop out from underneath._

LANA: You know, I'm pretty sure this baby _can_ hold all 11 of us, plus mom and dad!

LINCOLN: (grows smile) You know, you're right. Heh. Guess it's time to move on.

LUAN: (putting her arm around Lincoln) Of course it is. It'd be a big mistake if we didn't LIS-A new Vanzilla right now.

LISA: (stops walking in front of camera, looks in its direction sternly) Being the focal point of such stale humor is very, very exasperating

VO (as Loud House Theme Instrumental plays): Lease an all new Honda CR-V for just $239/mo plus tax! Visit your Helpful Honda Dealer today!


	3. GumballThe Wild Thornberrys, Snickers

**Hello, everyone! I figured that since school's getting in the way now more than ever, I'd have more time to write up these little commercials instead of big ol' chapters for the time being. Enjoy!**

 _Snickers belongs to Mars, Inc. The Wild Thornberrys belongs to Nickelodeon. The Amazing World of Gumball belongs to Cartoon Network._

 _The Wattersons (sans Darwin) are walking through a jungle trying to find Darwin. Anais has an annoyed look on her face._

ALL SCREAM SPORADICALLY (except Anais): Daaaarrwiinnnn! Daaarwwinn!

ANAIS: (sigh) Again, what are we doing looking for Darwin here?

GUMBALL: (half-grinning) Well, I figured since fish survive in natural environments, we may as well look for him here.

ANAIS: YES, Gumball. EXACTLY! Fish live in the jungle!

RICHARD (after jumping between the two): Enough fighting! We all swore we'd search the farthest depths of this earth to find-

 _They spot an RV making its way through the trees._

AAAAAHHHH! (screams from both the Wattersons and the family in the RV)

 _The Wattersons leap for cover as the RV is stopped near them, nearly tipping over, then landing back safely on the ground. Out came The Thornberrys (sans Donnie)._

MARIANNE: Nigel, we almost ran over this (grows questioning look), rather, strange animal family.

RICHARD: Hey, will you watch where you're driving? You almost killed us and our-

GIANT PINK BUNNY: - (repeatedly biting its teeth, as if it were chattering)

NIGEL: Oh my. I'll try to be careful next time. It appears as if the giant bunny were trying to communicate-

DEBBIE: It's okay dad, I'd be scared too. I mean what kind of bunny would have kids with a cat?

 _Darwin (the monkey) comes out of the RV. For some reason, Gumball recognizes him, and his eyes widen._

GUMBALL: Darwin?

MONKEY DARWIN: Oh, Gumball, thank goodness I've found you. I've been very worried this whole RV ride...

 _Eliza looks on in confusion while Debbie looks on annoyed as Darwin continues rambling._

ELIZA: Uuuhhh, do they know each other?

DEBBIE: (scoffs) You're asking me?

GUMBALL: Darwin, eat a Snickers.

MONKEY DARWIN: Why?

 _Darwin takes the Snickers bar from Darwin's hand and opens it._

GUMBALL: Because you become a monkey when you're hungry.

 _The monkey bites the Snickers._

GUMBALL: Better?

DARWIN WATTERSON: Better!

ANAIS: Great! Now let's go home.

 _Eliza stares on, eyes white as this page, mouth in the shape of an O, as the Wattersons leave. Debbie's eyes are wide._

DEBBIE: Did the monkey just turn into a freaking goldfish?!

 _Donnie and Darwin (monkey) fall out of some branches from above, landing in front of Eliza and Debbie. Debbie screams, stepping back._

ELIZA: (gasps) Darwin! (Hugs the monkey)

DONNIE: Weeeeee! Bigidbigidibigidiba! Waaahaheeee! (Leaps onto Debbie, then to the top of the RV)

DARWIN: Oh, of course I'm alright! What's the deal?

VO: You're not you when you're hungry. Snickers Satisfies.

 **Also, really quickly, congratulations to Gumball Watterson for appearing on the AT &T commercial alongside Mark Wahlberg! Lol**


	4. Mark Henry, Geico

**Before you go on to reading this, please note that this commercial, like really all other Geico commercials ever, is intended to be stupid. So** ** _please_** **tell me something I don't know, when you're reviewing this. Oh well, enjoy!**

 _GEICO belongs to Berkshire Hathaway._

 _Open on a floor shot of a football, with all the team members crouched around it information._

QUARTERBACK (in his thoughts): This is it. This is the point in which my entire life culminates.

 _As the quarterback's thoughts are heard, audibles are also heard from on the field. The camera changes between overhead shots and zooms focused on the key players and quarterback._

QUARTERBACK (in thoughts): It all adds up to this. My chance to prove myself...is now. (Speaking) HIKE!

 _The center snaps the ball. The quarterback receives it, steps back, and-_ BOOM! _From out of nowhere, Mark Henry plows through the poor man, sending him careening backwards onto the floor, rolling backwards. The refs call for the play to stop, and everyone looks around in confusion as Mark Henry just stares at the fallen QB._

VO: If you're Mark Henry,...

MARK HENRY: THAT'S WHAT I DO!

VO:...it's what you do. If you wanna save 15% or more on car insurance, you switch to Geico. It's what you do.

 **I think I'm gonna need some suggestions for some future commercials. I know I've said before that I'm not taking requests, but seeing as these little TV spots are SO MUCH easier to create since they're shorter, and therefore don't require really much effort, I think I might as well take some suggestions as to what commercials I should do next and which of your favorite characters I should feature. Feel free to review AND to leave some potential commercial suggestions (or you can send them to me via private message) and maybe, just maybe, you'll see them here.**

 **P.S.: I'm ONLY taking ad/commercial suggestions. Not story suggestions.**


	5. Fairly OddParents, Amazon Fire TV Stick

_The Fairly OddParents belongs to Nickelodeon. Amazon Fire TV Stick, Alexa, and Alexa Voice Remote belong to , Inc._

Timmy Turner is seen sitting bored under a tree in a park. Mordecai and Rigby are seen raking the leaves in front of him, bored out of their own minds as well.

"Ugh, tough day, right?" Timmy asks half-exhaustedly.

"Hmm, Regular Show." Rigby muttered. Timmy gave a confused "Huh?" Mordecai looked up as both he and Rigby stopped what they were doing.

"Regular Show," Mordecai reiterated. "Dude, you should totally watch it," he finished before smirking. He and Rigby then let out their signautre "Hm. Hm-hm!"

Later, Timmy is seen walking down a street as he passes by Homer Simpson playing tug-of-war with Peter Griffin over a Fire TV Stick.

"Simpsons!" Homer yelled. "Family Guy!" Peter repsonded. "Simpsons!" "Family Guy!" "Simpsons!" "Family Guy!"

As Timmy passed them up, a car pulled over next to him. The window lowered and a gray-skinned man in a navy blue suit with an American flag pin stuck out its head (Roger disguised as Stan, _American Dad!_ ).

"Don't pay any attention to them, kid," "Stan" told him, "watch American Dad."

Later, Timmy is seen at school grabbing his stuff from his locker. As soon as he closed it, he heard someone next to him say "Rugrats!" Timmy screamed, startled at the sight of purple-haired Tommy Pickles as if he'd been standing there for a while. Coincidentally enough, Chuckie Finster was approaching him.

"Eugh!" Chuckie snorted. "Nobody wants to see a show about us in diapers!"

"An Emmy-winning show about us in diapers!" Tommy responded, sheepishly smiling. Timmy seemed a bit weirded out.

"Ugghh! Tommyyy! Don't say it like that!"

We then cut to Timmy Turner in his room.

"I wish I could watch The Fairly OddParents!" he exclaimed. Cosmo and Wanda then showed up, poofing a TV out of nowhere to watch their show. (Gotcha! Jk) Little did they know a certain Crocker was just casually spying on their house.

"Of course," he groaned, fidgeting with his hands, "who needs Amazon Fire TV Stick, when you have

FAIRY

GOD

PARENTS

The camera then zooms out revealing that all this is on a TV.

"Okay, Alexa look for Archer!" Sterling proclaimed before taking a sip of his liquor.

"Archer," Lana groaned from the kitchen as she was feeding their baby Abbiejean. "You know that's not safe for AJ!"

"Lana, AJ needs to see daddy in action, so she can see how awesome her daddy is!" Archer replied. Lana just sighed.

VO (as Archer end credits theme plays): Watch what you want, on the Fire TV Stick now with Alexa Voice Remote.

 **Surprise! Looks like Timmy was in the danger zone the whole time! Jejeje**

 _Regular Show belongs to Cartoon Network. The Simpsons, American Dad!, and Family Guy belong to Fox. All Grown Up! and Rugrats belong to Nickelodeon. Archer belongs to FX._

 **WARNING: MAJOR LOUD HOUSE SPOILER IN THE AUTHOR'S NOTE**

 **Author's Note: Just want to get something off my chest really quickly. Recently, I kinda sorta aborted a story in which I shipped Luna Loud with an OC (male), due to the revelation in the latest Loud House episode that she was bisexual and had developed an interest in another girl (S02E12B: L is for Love). A few people gave me harsh backlash for it. Let me tell you first off that I completely and totally support bisexual Luna! And I will not tolerate anyone telling me that it is illegal or wrong (unless homosexuality is actually illegal in your country) and I especially won't tolerate anyone calling her a fag! Luna is still my favorite Loud sister, regardless if she's bi!**


End file.
